im angry. so what.

i had so many dreams last nyt.. maybe because i slept too long. or mabye, because of the lack thereof. (ewan..)

everytime i check on myself these days, i can't find any reason to continue the way i try to live my life right now. yeah..i enjoy my days, especially fridays! but how about everything in between fridays?! my life is empty.

i am not complaining about the lack of sensational occurences in my life. i am not ranting about losses. but i am desperately craving for excitements! for low and high moments, for breath-taking events, for life-changing decisions...things i can write about. so that i wont need any dreaming at all.

stuuuuuuupid thoughtssssss-----------------

i hate people who are striving so hard, so hard that they don't get to enjoy the beauty of being themselves. i am such a hypocrite. i have the tendency to be like them. and i hate the feeling so much! i want to scream in front of them and try to tell them that what they're saying are not the things they reaLly want to say. but duh...who am i to say that?!

i hate it when i try to fit in to a crowd composed of people who live between the boundaries of the norms. i want to be different all the time but i am damn afraid of criticisms. i...i...i...whatever!

----------------------------stuuuuuupid thoughts

i want to meet a person who will make a difference in my life. not necessarily a love interest or anything connected with that. i want someone who thinks so freely. i want someone who dares to be different and is proud of it. i want an inspiration so that i can get out of this numbing habit of fear and insecurity. i want to meet someone who wont be afraid of hurting me for the sake of inflicting more courage in me.

--------
frustrations.

i want to talk to him and get to know him. why am i so damn afraid?! i know for a fact that he's not like that dense group of cells who made me feel like a dot (for the second time around..now who's stupid?)

aftershocks..worst. in other words, lessons. knowledge, experience. ahhhh! i wish i am just an innocent girl who wants to be happy. (really?) who am i? i am a stupid girl who wants to be happy but................. (maraming conditions! pucha...)

blah blah blah... andaming sinasabi..bobo pa rin.

-------------------------------ayoko. i dont want kelly clarkson's song to be applicable on me. bleeeep*

want...want... needs?
bobostupidgaga

"The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done."