Thursday, November 04, 2004
the light is gone
"the light is gone, but the shadow still haunts me..."
everytime i witness love in the eyes of someone, i get this feeling of jelousy. i envy them for they still know how to let go of all their doubts and swim through the risk of loving. i once had that feeling but it was gone because someone sucked the water out of my pool..(ano `yan, excited sa outing?)
i am certain that i still love him because if i don't, what's the sense of all these pain inside of me? what's the point of hurting everytime i see him talk and play with those two girls? why do i get so affected when he said that the party was "corny"? why did i cry so hard just because he hated me?
who am i to feel so lost now when all along i was never found? i always say that i miss the days blah..blah..blah..but, was there really those days when the sun is still up on my world? was there really a time when this love caused me something good? i hope so..because i am believing that this love makes me alive..but is also killing me now.
i have this feeling of being in the middle of bidding goodbye and of saying hello. i want to let go of the good memories we had--those times when you used to say you care, when you never cease to start or end my day with a wish that it's something good. i miss those simple things that are simply not that simple because you did them. you are not the person i see everyday, sitting on my back. you are never a jerk when i was falling for you. all i see those times was a person getting out of a hard shell. i want to pull you away from the hardness of your personality.but now i get this silly feeling, are you really that hard or you're just fakin' everything to trap people like me, hopeless romantics.
you are once again successful for blinding someone. i have seen your victories but i never questioned you ability to love..til the day i woke up and realized that i am loving someone i don't really know. at the back of my mind, i want to know you..i want to see who's the real you..but then i realized, why should i bother? do i really need to? isn't it enough that i love him?
my heart says YES
but my mind disagrees..
love is a matter of the heart..but how about everythingelse? everythingelse in me that have been drifting away from my life just because of this 'heart matter'?
will you ever see me as the person who is willing to give up everything..
or will i just stay like this forever--someone you treat as a rag?
everytime i witness love in the eyes of someone, i get this feeling of jelousy. i envy them for they still know how to let go of all their doubts and swim through the risk of loving. i once had that feeling but it was gone because someone sucked the water out of my pool..(ano `yan, excited sa outing?)
i am certain that i still love him because if i don't, what's the sense of all these pain inside of me? what's the point of hurting everytime i see him talk and play with those two girls? why do i get so affected when he said that the party was "corny"? why did i cry so hard just because he hated me?
who am i to feel so lost now when all along i was never found? i always say that i miss the days blah..blah..blah..but, was there really those days when the sun is still up on my world? was there really a time when this love caused me something good? i hope so..because i am believing that this love makes me alive..but is also killing me now.
i have this feeling of being in the middle of bidding goodbye and of saying hello. i want to let go of the good memories we had--those times when you used to say you care, when you never cease to start or end my day with a wish that it's something good. i miss those simple things that are simply not that simple because you did them. you are not the person i see everyday, sitting on my back. you are never a jerk when i was falling for you. all i see those times was a person getting out of a hard shell. i want to pull you away from the hardness of your personality.but now i get this silly feeling, are you really that hard or you're just fakin' everything to trap people like me, hopeless romantics.
you are once again successful for blinding someone. i have seen your victories but i never questioned you ability to love..til the day i woke up and realized that i am loving someone i don't really know. at the back of my mind, i want to know you..i want to see who's the real you..but then i realized, why should i bother? do i really need to? isn't it enough that i love him?
my heart says YES
but my mind disagrees..
love is a matter of the heart..but how about everythingelse? everythingelse in me that have been drifting away from my life just because of this 'heart matter'?
will you ever see me as the person who is willing to give up everything..
or will i just stay like this forever--someone you treat as a rag?
